I switched my blog to Blogger. Yeah, I know. The reason is, I can't view my blog on Google Chrome which is insane because I used it as my primary browser! What a let down! What is going on? This is irritating. I tried everything within my capabilities, complaining here and there, googling like mad but still I get no reply or answer. Now that I think about it, there must be a reason why Google left Wordpress and choose Blogger as their partner, right?
So, goodbye Wordpress. Hello, Blogger.
Showing posts with label lashes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lashes. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Monday, July 11, 2016
Rock, Meet Bottom
When talking about someone hitting rock bottom, I often heard people said that the only way to go is up. But really? That only applies if you hit the lowest LOW, you know, one when you truly have nothing to lose, not just some obstacle or weird challenge, or a bizarre plot twist that come in your way. And how did you know that you hit rock bottom, THE rock bottom?
I guess you truly hit rock bottom when you can feel the humiliation, the despair, anger, frustration, sadness, and fear all at the same that it becomes so unbearable your whole body are hurting. It hurts so bad you think like jumping from 13th floor but then dying won’t help with anything, in fact it’ll make things messier and much more miserable. I don’t want to die ugly and all chop suey.
You arrive at a point where you didn’t even care you can’t cry anymore. You lose everything; your confidence, hope, dreams, motive and beliefs. You’ll question everything and realize that nothing is working. But the good thing about this is you can let go, either willingly or not because you have nothing to hold on to. You can start anew. Or hiding under your blanket in your room, cursing nonstop.
They said when life gives you lemon, make lemonade. That is assuming that life also gives you sugar, which is impossible when you hit rock bottom. Unless you’re not cynical and all positive-vibe-thinking-kinda-person, maybe you think life will offer you lemon and sugar with ice when in reality the very fabric of your life is torn apart and upside down. The very best thing you can get out of lemon is lemon juice. Or perhaps next time when life gives you lemons squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.
I guess you truly hit rock bottom when you can feel the humiliation, the despair, anger, frustration, sadness, and fear all at the same that it becomes so unbearable your whole body are hurting. It hurts so bad you think like jumping from 13th floor but then dying won’t help with anything, in fact it’ll make things messier and much more miserable. I don’t want to die ugly and all chop suey.
You arrive at a point where you didn’t even care you can’t cry anymore. You lose everything; your confidence, hope, dreams, motive and beliefs. You’ll question everything and realize that nothing is working. But the good thing about this is you can let go, either willingly or not because you have nothing to hold on to. You can start anew. Or hiding under your blanket in your room, cursing nonstop.
They said when life gives you lemon, make lemonade. That is assuming that life also gives you sugar, which is impossible when you hit rock bottom. Unless you’re not cynical and all positive-vibe-thinking-kinda-person, maybe you think life will offer you lemon and sugar with ice when in reality the very fabric of your life is torn apart and upside down. The very best thing you can get out of lemon is lemon juice. Or perhaps next time when life gives you lemons squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Lolita My Sin, My Soul
*Spoiler alert*
I have just finished reading Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. I’m feeling confused, don’t know how to describe my feelings. My main thoughts about Humbert are lying paedophile with mental issues, but I also can’t help feeling sorry at him for being completely in love (read: obsessed) with Lolita. The heart wants what the heart wants. We're all "well aware" of the stupid things we do for things called “love”, add some mental illness and childhood trauma to the mix, of course you’ll be a Humbert.
My life so far has been average and free from violent tragedy, so I wouldn’t know much about Humbert’s trauma regarding Annabel Leigh’s death. The deep regret he’s feeling, was it just about unable to consummate their love? Seriously? What year is it again?! At twelve I’m still fooling around with my friends with little to no regard about boys. And then there’s the way he threatened her when she declined his advances… That is just wrong. Just because you do the wrong thing for the right reason is still wrong. It doesn’t make everything okay. Just because Lolita resembles Annabel doesn't take away the fact that she is his stepdaughter. That is just... Incest. Ewww.
Nevertheless, this is a great novel. It left me feeling exasperated and I started making my own judgement while reading and I usually reserve my judgement until after reading. I even laugh at Charlotte’s untimely death (Pretty sure I'm gonna pay for this...) That car came out of nowhere, as if the universe conspires to realize his lust for Lolita. This novel also left me wanting to take a deep breath and thinking about life, and I can't stop asking questions such as if he had consummate his love with Annabel, would Humbert grows up to be mentally stable? Is he just a plain pervert who tries to justify his action and feelings for much younger girl? What if Charlotte didn't get hit and unfolds Humbert’s true nature? Oh, humanity! I feel so old after reading this.
I always think that I'd prefer moderation in life, but Lolita caught me off guard and toss me around after toying with my emotion and reason, making me debating with myself, am I capable of loving someone like Humbert? Do I want to be loved like that? What is the line between love and obsession? Humbert loves Lolita more than anything. Lo-lee-ta. That’s not even her real name.
I have just finished reading Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. I’m feeling confused, don’t know how to describe my feelings. My main thoughts about Humbert are lying paedophile with mental issues, but I also can’t help feeling sorry at him for being completely in love (read: obsessed) with Lolita. The heart wants what the heart wants. We're all "well aware" of the stupid things we do for things called “love”, add some mental illness and childhood trauma to the mix, of course you’ll be a Humbert.
My life so far has been average and free from violent tragedy, so I wouldn’t know much about Humbert’s trauma regarding Annabel Leigh’s death. The deep regret he’s feeling, was it just about unable to consummate their love? Seriously? What year is it again?! At twelve I’m still fooling around with my friends with little to no regard about boys. And then there’s the way he threatened her when she declined his advances… That is just wrong. Just because you do the wrong thing for the right reason is still wrong. It doesn’t make everything okay. Just because Lolita resembles Annabel doesn't take away the fact that she is his stepdaughter. That is just... Incest. Ewww.
Nevertheless, this is a great novel. It left me feeling exasperated and I started making my own judgement while reading and I usually reserve my judgement until after reading. I even laugh at Charlotte’s untimely death (Pretty sure I'm gonna pay for this...) That car came out of nowhere, as if the universe conspires to realize his lust for Lolita. This novel also left me wanting to take a deep breath and thinking about life, and I can't stop asking questions such as if he had consummate his love with Annabel, would Humbert grows up to be mentally stable? Is he just a plain pervert who tries to justify his action and feelings for much younger girl? What if Charlotte didn't get hit and unfolds Humbert’s true nature? Oh, humanity! I feel so old after reading this.
I always think that I'd prefer moderation in life, but Lolita caught me off guard and toss me around after toying with my emotion and reason, making me debating with myself, am I capable of loving someone like Humbert? Do I want to be loved like that? What is the line between love and obsession? Humbert loves Lolita more than anything. Lo-lee-ta. That’s not even her real name.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Not-so-secret Relationship
You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it – Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.
Oh how I wish that is how my case and my so-called “crush”. Then I can be spared of the embarrassment.
But that’s so not it. All the hints dropping and flirting was actually obvious that his parents and sister know about it. His mother even jokes about him flirting me, and don’t even get me started on the reaction of his sister. Of course, my friends knew all about it. I can’t stop talking about him then, and thank you God for blessing me with such best friends that put up with my nonsense crush. It was clear that we had feelings for each other. We both responded to each other.
But then suddenly he goes and proposed other girl. It was so confusing and heartbreaking when I heard about his engagement. Later that week, his sister came to see me with hugs and kisses, and starting to talk to me like normal, as if her brother wasn't engaged to be married.
After talking to my friends and upon self-reflect, I realized we just flirted with each other. It was harmless, and maybe it was my fault for taking it the wrong way. It's not as if we were exclusive or anything like that. He's just being nice. Maybe.
Today, his sister came to see me again. She handed me his wedding invitation. It’s going to be a September wedding. Unfortunately, my pride got the best of me so as I chuckled nervously, I told her that I may not be able to attend the wedding because I have a two-day conference, all the while gathering my strength, trying to hide my height of anger and frustration. She responded by saying “Oh really? Too bad… Hey you know what, what about dinner with me and my friends tomorrow?”
I should have refused politely. I should not have asked why. She wants me to help out with the wedding, specifically with photo booth props and design a personalised wedding favours. I just took a frontal snapping punch strike, full-life combo kick and died.
Oh how I wish that is how my case and my so-called “crush”. Then I can be spared of the embarrassment.
But that’s so not it. All the hints dropping and flirting was actually obvious that his parents and sister know about it. His mother even jokes about him flirting me, and don’t even get me started on the reaction of his sister. Of course, my friends knew all about it. I can’t stop talking about him then, and thank you God for blessing me with such best friends that put up with my nonsense crush. It was clear that we had feelings for each other. We both responded to each other.
But then suddenly he goes and proposed other girl. It was so confusing and heartbreaking when I heard about his engagement. Later that week, his sister came to see me with hugs and kisses, and starting to talk to me like normal, as if her brother wasn't engaged to be married.
After talking to my friends and upon self-reflect, I realized we just flirted with each other. It was harmless, and maybe it was my fault for taking it the wrong way. It's not as if we were exclusive or anything like that. He's just being nice. Maybe.
Today, his sister came to see me again. She handed me his wedding invitation. It’s going to be a September wedding. Unfortunately, my pride got the best of me so as I chuckled nervously, I told her that I may not be able to attend the wedding because I have a two-day conference, all the while gathering my strength, trying to hide my height of anger and frustration. She responded by saying “Oh really? Too bad… Hey you know what, what about dinner with me and my friends tomorrow?”
I should have refused politely. I should not have asked why. She wants me to help out with the wedding, specifically with photo booth props and design a personalised wedding favours. I just took a frontal snapping punch strike, full-life combo kick and died.
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