Rock, Meet Bottom

When talking about someone hitting rock bottom, I often heard people said that the only way to go is up.  But really? That only applies if you hit the lowest LOW, you know, one when you truly have nothing to lose, not just some obstacle or weird challenge, or a bizarre plot twist that come in your way.  And how did you know that you hit rock bottom, THE rock bottom?

I guess you truly hit rock bottom when you can feel the humiliation, the despair, anger, frustration, sadness, and fear all at the same that it becomes so unbearable your whole body are hurting.  It hurts so bad you think like jumping from 13th floor but then dying won’t help with anything, in fact it’ll make things messier and much more miserable.  I don’t want to die ugly and all chop suey.

You arrive at a point where you didn’t even care you can’t cry anymore.  You lose everything; your confidence, hope, dreams, motive and beliefs.  You’ll question everything and realize that nothing is working.  But the good thing about this is you can let go, either willingly or not because you have nothing to hold on to. You can start anew.  Or hiding under your blanket in your room, cursing nonstop.

They said when life gives you lemon, make lemonade.  That is assuming that life also gives you sugar, which is impossible when you hit rock bottom.  Unless you’re not cynical and all positive-vibe-thinking-kinda-person, maybe you think life will offer you lemon and sugar with ice when in reality the very fabric of your life is torn apart and upside down.  The very best thing you can get out of lemon is lemon juice.  Or perhaps next time when life gives you lemons squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.

Lolita My Sin, My Soul

*Spoiler alert*

I have just finished reading Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita.  I’m feeling confused, don’t know how to describe my feelings.  My main thoughts about Humbert are lying paedophile with mental issues, but I also can’t help feeling sorry at him for being completely in love (read: obsessed) with Lolita.  The heart wants what the heart wants.  We're all "well aware" of the stupid things we do for things called “love”, add some mental illness and childhood trauma to the mix, of course you’ll be a Humbert.

My life so far has been average and free from violent tragedy, so I wouldn’t know much about Humbert’s trauma regarding Annabel Leigh’s death.  The deep regret he’s feeling, was it just about unable to consummate their love?  Seriously? What year is it again?! At twelve I’m still fooling around with my friends with little to no regard about boys.  And then there’s the way he threatened her when she declined his advances… That is just wrong.  Just because you do the wrong thing for the right reason is still wrong.  It doesn’t make everything okay.  Just because Lolita resembles Annabel doesn't take away the fact that she is his stepdaughter.  That is just... Incest. Ewww.

Nevertheless, this is a great novel. It left me feeling exasperated and I started making my own judgement while reading and I usually reserve my judgement until after reading.  I even laugh at Charlotte’s untimely death (Pretty sure I'm gonna pay for this...)  That car came out of nowhere, as if the universe conspires to realize his lust for Lolita.  This novel also left me wanting to take a deep breath and thinking about life, and I can't stop asking questions such as if he had consummate his love with Annabel, would Humbert grows up to be mentally stable?  Is he just a plain pervert who tries to justify his action and feelings for much younger girl?  What if Charlotte didn't get hit and unfolds Humbert’s true nature?  Oh, humanity!  I feel so old after reading this.

I always think that I'd prefer moderation in life, but Lolita caught me off guard and toss me around after toying with my emotion and reason, making me debating with myself, am I capable of loving someone like Humbert? Do I want to be loved like that? What is the line between love and obsession?  Humbert loves Lolita more than anything.  Lo-lee-ta.  That’s not even her real name.

That Finicky Little B!~*uit

Two years ago, I attempted macaron. It turned out ugly. Today, I dared myself once again to make another. Well...

  
At least they taste good so... 

  

Complaints

Living is hard. Well now is not my finest moment because I may regret posting this but darn it I hate this red tape and administration issues. I mean come on people, we all got our own work. Lif is hard on me, too but do you see or hear me complaining about it to every single person I bump into? You're just asking for this. Its been 3 weeks but my registration is not yet settled. And blaming game, here we go.

“Free will may be an illusion. I often think that.”

“If that’s true, life is pretty dark.” - Haruki Murakami. “1Q84.”

Face Off SyFy

I am a big fan of SyFy's Face Off.  It's a reality show competition about movie magic, about the special-effect makeup world.  I have girl crush on the host, McKenzie Westmore (her father is the Emmy Award winner for his work on Star Trek.  Amazing, right?!) and I love Ve Neill.  Also, Mr Westmore is amazing on TV.  The show is genuine and intense, I am hooked ever since season 1!!!

Then I got notification from Twitter saying the McKenzie Westmore is now following me on Twitter!!!  Despite my cold and fever, I can't stop grinning for the whole day! My cousins came over to visit me and I can't stop talking about her, until my cousin said 'you sound terrible on the phone but now you looked happy.  I guess that's a good sign' and I was like yea, my girl crush is following on Twitter.  Not just any girl crush, but my ultimate girl crush for few years.  So yeah...

Must refrain from being creepy, now...

Piercings

I watched this Japanese anime where a girl was lying about her age.  She was 20+ but pretending to be a high school student. But because of her pierced ears, the other kids found out her real age.  Really? Piercing after high school?  I got my first piercing at 7. Yup. Seven. Is it that big of a deal? It's a normal thing in my family, because my grandma believe in gold. She gave me gold studded earrings with rubies. It was beautiful. Until I grow up to hate it. I'm bored with it and want a new earring when I was ten.

Well, wearing an earring in school is okay, too. Just pair of earrings. That's it. No more or less. But then the only piercing I'm allowed is just that. Not on my nose or belly or any other place. Just my ears. In fact, some of my friends got their piercing when they're 2 years old. So they won't remember the pain, and not a on other places than the one the parents want it to be.

I don't exactly remember the pain, either. It was just sharp tingling sensation. Which is why I don't understand why some parents ask their daughter to wait until a certain age to get piercing.  I mean, beauty is pain (though I don't like that phrase because I believe beauty means confident in yourself).   Because I got my piercing early, done by professionals, so no pain.  Also, and that's the only piercing I have. I did asked for another piercings on top of my ears during my rebellious teen years but my mom brushed me off by saying "I gave you piercings once, and that's it young lady".

In gold we trust, as I saw this quote on the internet. Remind me so much about my grandma

The Liebster Award

Last week I was nominated for the Liebster Award by the amazing https://chibigalinda.wordpress.com/, mommy to a super adorable son who loves Doctor Who, Pokemon, Makeup, and Video games.  It is a booster for me to keep blogging, and for that I’d like to thank her (｡◕‿◕｡) Do check her blog by clicking the link https://chibigalinda.wordpress.com/

The Official Rules of The Liebster Award

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you:

1. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.

2. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)

3. Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.

4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.

5. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)

6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.

7. List these rules in your post. Once you have written and published it, you then have to:

8. Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!)

Or you could check it here (this is where I copy and paste all these regulations from): http://wordingwell.com/the-liebster-award-the-official-rules-my-first-blog-award-and-a-few-personal-secrets-revealed/

So here goes!  These were questions by https://chibigalinda.wordpress.com/

1. How did you come up with your blog name?

Raising Sumaiyah means I am still growing up.  Adulthood is.... overrated at best.

2. What is your guilty pleasure food?

When it comes to dessert, I am a sinner.  Whenever I have the urge to overindulge, I always go this local place called Eat Me Artisanal Dessert to have their Shibuya Honey Bunch and Nutella Chill Pill.  Sugary, buttery, creamy, chocolaty…

3. Where is your favourite place to spend time?

Well, I don’t really mind the where as much as I care about the who.  I am that kind of a person who enjoys good company.  But I do love long walks with my friends where we could spill our guts on anything and everything about anyone

4. Favourite TV show?

All time favourite would be Leverage and Criminal Minds, but I am currently hooked with  Person of Interest

5. What kind of music do you like?

I love Escala.  They play instrument like no one’s business.

6. What colour are your eyes?

Dark brown

7. What movie will you admit to watching way too many times?

Spirited Away.  I love anime and I absolutely love Hayao Miyazaki’s work

8. What inspires you to blog?

I love reading other people’s blog.  It’s like their own personal journal, and they invite me to peek inside their thoughts, knowledge, journey, opinions and experience.  Also if I die, my family and friends still find a piece of me, the proof of my existence (I think…)

9. What’s the one item you carry with you everywhere you go?

My phone and the book I’m currently reading

10. What is the weirdest habit you have?

I love to smell things, especially the book I'm about to read. And my hair.

11. What was the last book you read?

Still Alice by Lisa Genova

11 random facts about me:

• Complete chocoholic 


• My pet fish is called ‘Mini’, short for ‘Mini Monster’ because despite his size, he eats like me. He’s a red Betta splendens


• My all-time favourite anime are Detective Conan, YuYu Hakusho, and Fairy Tail


• I never had any surgery


• Contact lens freaks me out. 


• Thailand is the first foreign country I visited


• My father was an English teacher and my mother is an auditor


• I love Audrey Hepburn, especially Eliza Doolittle.  'How do you do?'


• I'm not a romantic person, but darn it I fell in love with Pablo Neruda’s poems


• My goal this year is to read 50 novels.  Or more if possible


• I am listening to Counting Stars – OneRepublic

Okay, TMI, TMI.  With that, I nominate these blogs:

https://yearandahalf.wordpress.com/

https://noruinin.wordpress.com/

https://justlittlemusings.wordpress.com/

https://thegreyeye.wordpress.com/

https://limami2.wordpress.com/

https://catwalkcuisine.wordpress.com/

https://sofiyawanmohdnor.wordpress.com/

https://untechsavvy.wordpress.com/

https://raimieisawriter.wordpress.com/

https://waitcameraeatsfirst.wordpress.com/

My questions for all you are:

1. When you were five what did you want to be?


2. What would constitute a perfect day for you?


3. What is the meaning behind your name?


4. Have you ever truly feared for your life?


5. What’s the most valuable thing you’ve wrecked?


6. If you could be best friends with any historical figure, who would it be?


7. What kind of fashion sense attracts you?


8. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?


9. Which film do you wish you were the main character in?


10. Who in your life makes you feel like you’re amazing?


11. If you were the only person in the world with superpowers, would you feel lonely?

*Thank you for reading such a long post about some weird strangers who has nothing to do with you ;)