I switched my blog to Blogger. Yeah, I know. The reason is, I can't view my blog on Google Chrome which is insane because I used it as my primary browser! What a let down! What is going on? This is irritating. I tried everything within my capabilities, complaining here and there, googling like mad but still I get no reply or answer. Now that I think about it, there must be a reason why Google left Wordpress and choose Blogger as their partner, right?
So, goodbye Wordpress. Hello, Blogger.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Monday, July 11, 2016
Rock, Meet Bottom
When talking about someone hitting rock bottom, I often heard people said that the only way to go is up. But really? That only applies if you hit the lowest LOW, you know, one when you truly have nothing to lose, not just some obstacle or weird challenge, or a bizarre plot twist that come in your way. And how did you know that you hit rock bottom, THE rock bottom?
I guess you truly hit rock bottom when you can feel the humiliation, the despair, anger, frustration, sadness, and fear all at the same that it becomes so unbearable your whole body are hurting. It hurts so bad you think like jumping from 13th floor but then dying won’t help with anything, in fact it’ll make things messier and much more miserable. I don’t want to die ugly and all chop suey.
You arrive at a point where you didn’t even care you can’t cry anymore. You lose everything; your confidence, hope, dreams, motive and beliefs. You’ll question everything and realize that nothing is working. But the good thing about this is you can let go, either willingly or not because you have nothing to hold on to. You can start anew. Or hiding under your blanket in your room, cursing nonstop.
They said when life gives you lemon, make lemonade. That is assuming that life also gives you sugar, which is impossible when you hit rock bottom. Unless you’re not cynical and all positive-vibe-thinking-kinda-person, maybe you think life will offer you lemon and sugar with ice when in reality the very fabric of your life is torn apart and upside down. The very best thing you can get out of lemon is lemon juice. Or perhaps next time when life gives you lemons squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.
I guess you truly hit rock bottom when you can feel the humiliation, the despair, anger, frustration, sadness, and fear all at the same that it becomes so unbearable your whole body are hurting. It hurts so bad you think like jumping from 13th floor but then dying won’t help with anything, in fact it’ll make things messier and much more miserable. I don’t want to die ugly and all chop suey.
You arrive at a point where you didn’t even care you can’t cry anymore. You lose everything; your confidence, hope, dreams, motive and beliefs. You’ll question everything and realize that nothing is working. But the good thing about this is you can let go, either willingly or not because you have nothing to hold on to. You can start anew. Or hiding under your blanket in your room, cursing nonstop.
They said when life gives you lemon, make lemonade. That is assuming that life also gives you sugar, which is impossible when you hit rock bottom. Unless you’re not cynical and all positive-vibe-thinking-kinda-person, maybe you think life will offer you lemon and sugar with ice when in reality the very fabric of your life is torn apart and upside down. The very best thing you can get out of lemon is lemon juice. Or perhaps next time when life gives you lemons squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Lolita My Sin, My Soul
*Spoiler alert*
I have just finished reading Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. I’m feeling confused, don’t know how to describe my feelings. My main thoughts about Humbert are lying paedophile with mental issues, but I also can’t help feeling sorry at him for being completely in love (read: obsessed) with Lolita. The heart wants what the heart wants. We're all "well aware" of the stupid things we do for things called “love”, add some mental illness and childhood trauma to the mix, of course you’ll be a Humbert.
My life so far has been average and free from violent tragedy, so I wouldn’t know much about Humbert’s trauma regarding Annabel Leigh’s death. The deep regret he’s feeling, was it just about unable to consummate their love? Seriously? What year is it again?! At twelve I’m still fooling around with my friends with little to no regard about boys. And then there’s the way he threatened her when she declined his advances… That is just wrong. Just because you do the wrong thing for the right reason is still wrong. It doesn’t make everything okay. Just because Lolita resembles Annabel doesn't take away the fact that she is his stepdaughter. That is just... Incest. Ewww.
Nevertheless, this is a great novel. It left me feeling exasperated and I started making my own judgement while reading and I usually reserve my judgement until after reading. I even laugh at Charlotte’s untimely death (Pretty sure I'm gonna pay for this...) That car came out of nowhere, as if the universe conspires to realize his lust for Lolita. This novel also left me wanting to take a deep breath and thinking about life, and I can't stop asking questions such as if he had consummate his love with Annabel, would Humbert grows up to be mentally stable? Is he just a plain pervert who tries to justify his action and feelings for much younger girl? What if Charlotte didn't get hit and unfolds Humbert’s true nature? Oh, humanity! I feel so old after reading this.
I always think that I'd prefer moderation in life, but Lolita caught me off guard and toss me around after toying with my emotion and reason, making me debating with myself, am I capable of loving someone like Humbert? Do I want to be loved like that? What is the line between love and obsession? Humbert loves Lolita more than anything. Lo-lee-ta. That’s not even her real name.
I have just finished reading Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. I’m feeling confused, don’t know how to describe my feelings. My main thoughts about Humbert are lying paedophile with mental issues, but I also can’t help feeling sorry at him for being completely in love (read: obsessed) with Lolita. The heart wants what the heart wants. We're all "well aware" of the stupid things we do for things called “love”, add some mental illness and childhood trauma to the mix, of course you’ll be a Humbert.
My life so far has been average and free from violent tragedy, so I wouldn’t know much about Humbert’s trauma regarding Annabel Leigh’s death. The deep regret he’s feeling, was it just about unable to consummate their love? Seriously? What year is it again?! At twelve I’m still fooling around with my friends with little to no regard about boys. And then there’s the way he threatened her when she declined his advances… That is just wrong. Just because you do the wrong thing for the right reason is still wrong. It doesn’t make everything okay. Just because Lolita resembles Annabel doesn't take away the fact that she is his stepdaughter. That is just... Incest. Ewww.
Nevertheless, this is a great novel. It left me feeling exasperated and I started making my own judgement while reading and I usually reserve my judgement until after reading. I even laugh at Charlotte’s untimely death (Pretty sure I'm gonna pay for this...) That car came out of nowhere, as if the universe conspires to realize his lust for Lolita. This novel also left me wanting to take a deep breath and thinking about life, and I can't stop asking questions such as if he had consummate his love with Annabel, would Humbert grows up to be mentally stable? Is he just a plain pervert who tries to justify his action and feelings for much younger girl? What if Charlotte didn't get hit and unfolds Humbert’s true nature? Oh, humanity! I feel so old after reading this.
I always think that I'd prefer moderation in life, but Lolita caught me off guard and toss me around after toying with my emotion and reason, making me debating with myself, am I capable of loving someone like Humbert? Do I want to be loved like that? What is the line between love and obsession? Humbert loves Lolita more than anything. Lo-lee-ta. That’s not even her real name.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Nutella, with Love
When you thought Nutella couldn't get any better, they said you could have your own personalized bottle of Nutella. Don't you just love Nutella? I'm getting one for myself! Then I can finally say "Of course that's my Nutella, its got my name written on it! See?"
Isn't that just fantastic?
Isn't that just fantastic?
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
That Finicky Little B!~*uit
Two years ago, I attempted macaron. It turned out ugly. Today, I dared myself once again to make another. Well...
At least they taste good so...
At least they taste good so...
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Road Not Taken
There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed - Ernest Hemingway.
So yeah I'm gonna quit my study and grab new opportunities.
My father once told me that the decision made when I'm 15 until early 30s will affect my whole life. A simple yes or no answer to any opportunities or relationships will take me flying or sinking, for I am the designer of my own catastrophe.
Nevertheless I am happy that my parents support me. My mother simply pat my head and said there will be hard times for me but they will pass. It is very difficult letting go of my thesis, and embarrassing, really. I don't think I'm ready to face just anyone and tell them that "I quit" and laugh. Not yet. I need time. This is not something I can just brush off with a nod or smile or some gestures. Wow I never realized that I care about what people say, or scared of society...
Anyhow I've been thinking abut this for months actually. Did I make a wrong turn somewhere to arrive at this point? Is it a right thing to do? But life doesn't stop for anybody, and lashing about it won't make anything better. Dwelling in this any longer also won't help me progress.
I am saddened, frustrated and irritated with my own decision, but I have to stand on my own and take charge of my life. My future as of now sure starts slow. Still, I want to believe that there ought to be a future that I can choose. Right?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it - W.C. Fields
It is good to have conviction and it is commendable to follow it through, but when it hinders you, isn't it good to try something new? - Sakata Gintoki
This is so much bitter than any heartbreak I've experienced. They said heartbreak, but my whole body and mind hurts. Okay gonna listen to Alana Grace now. And Leona Lewis
So yeah I'm gonna quit my study and grab new opportunities.
My father once told me that the decision made when I'm 15 until early 30s will affect my whole life. A simple yes or no answer to any opportunities or relationships will take me flying or sinking, for I am the designer of my own catastrophe.
Nevertheless I am happy that my parents support me. My mother simply pat my head and said there will be hard times for me but they will pass. It is very difficult letting go of my thesis, and embarrassing, really. I don't think I'm ready to face just anyone and tell them that "I quit" and laugh. Not yet. I need time. This is not something I can just brush off with a nod or smile or some gestures. Wow I never realized that I care about what people say, or scared of society...
Anyhow I've been thinking abut this for months actually. Did I make a wrong turn somewhere to arrive at this point? Is it a right thing to do? But life doesn't stop for anybody, and lashing about it won't make anything better. Dwelling in this any longer also won't help me progress.
I am saddened, frustrated and irritated with my own decision, but I have to stand on my own and take charge of my life. My future as of now sure starts slow. Still, I want to believe that there ought to be a future that I can choose. Right?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it - W.C. Fields
It is good to have conviction and it is commendable to follow it through, but when it hinders you, isn't it good to try something new? - Sakata Gintoki
This is so much bitter than any heartbreak I've experienced. They said heartbreak, but my whole body and mind hurts. Okay gonna listen to Alana Grace now. And Leona Lewis
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)